Even though this happened this morning until about half an hour ago, I need to backtrack a little to tell it properly. Normally I do not remember my dreams. If I do, I wake disturbed, exhausted, sweaty, with the sheets in a tangled mess. In these situations it’s invariably been a nightmare. Yeah, only remembering nightmares kind of sucks, alright. But the night before last I had a dream that wasn’t a nightmare and remembered (most of) it. I commented on it on Twitter so some people will have the jist, but basically it was a tv show about an insomniac whose dreams tell the future. I wasn’t watching tv, I was watching the events, but I knew it was a tv show anyway. It was interesting because extreme insomnia (worse than mine, he sometimes didn’t sleep for days at a time) produces a lot of symptoms and he was in the mental health system. Distractable, forgetful, really flaky, and in the worst patches prone to the occasional waking hallucination (which did not tell the future, they were just your standard hallucination). And with good writers you could probably actually do something pretty interesting with that material. Also while he was a main character who’s a guy (boring) he was also a) not socially awkward or avoidant, just had a hard time holding down friendships because of aforementioned side effects of insomnia and b) not a jerk, which two points set him apart from at least idk 60-70% of male main characters on tv. (Incidentally he, of course, makes new friends in the first episode. They’re a het couple who live together but call each other bf/gf so don’t sound as serious as they are. They are Patrick and Laura. I got the feeling Patrick was a cop and Laura was some kind of teacher, but I’m not sure.)
Anyway, that’s not DIRECTLY relevant here, it’s just background and context. Last night shortly before midnight I took my anti-depressant as usual, but didn’t have my usual sedative, so instead I took 2mg of lorazepam. My dose is supposed to be 1mg, but that was set ages ago and I’m starting to build a tolerance. I’m trying to keep usage down, still usually take 1mg, but since I didn’t have any seroquel I decided to take 2. Not sure if that had any bearing on this morning.
See, I woke about quarter to five, with a desperate need to see what time it was. Didn’t remember any dreams. Normally when I wake I lie in bed quietly for quite a while but today I needed to know the time. My phone wasn’t under my pillow where it usually is. I remembered putting it in the pocket of a zip up hoodie and fumbled around until I found the right pocket and got it disentangled from my keys. It had gone flat, so then I went and took out the charging cord for my tablet and plugged the phone charger into the usb socket in its place. I had to wait a little before it would turn on, let alone start up. Bear in mind that next to me, within easy reach, I had a computer (asleep but on), the tablet I’d just unplugged (fully charged and on) and my 3DS (plugged in, on and asleep), all of which have time displays.
So eventually I manage to find out the time on my phone and settle down a little. For some reason I decide I need to check my mail, because last night I’d sent several messages to my sister explaining more about my dream (see above) and I seem to have written a lengthy paragraph to Sarah this morning that I do remember writing but it’s starting to fade a bit. What I do remember is tweeting, quite a lot. Looking at the door to figure out if it was open (it wasn’t), deciding it should be open, getting up to open it and the curtain. Going outside to check on my plants while it was still dark, using my tablet’s screen as a light, and deciding that I’ll need to tie one of my peas up because it’s growing in the wrong direction. And I remember that everything made sense at the time. Completely perfect sense.
Here’s a series of those tweets: